Author Archives

Melissahttp://www.missmeliss.com
Dear Santa 2023

TBM-2312.23 – Dear Santa… (2023)

by

Dear Santa 2023

Description:

#audio #christmas #dearsanta #open letter

Excerpt:

That’s it for now, Santa. Give my love to Ms. Claus, and scritch Blitzen behind the left antler for me. You know that’s her favorite spot.

Links and References

Guest Voices

n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

 

 

 

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:17 — 4.4MB)

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

TBM-2312.21- Mermaid Minute – Frosty the Narwhal

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Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

 

Description:

#audio. #parody #humor #mermaidminute #christmas #frostythenarwhal

Excerpt:

Frosty the Narwhal
Wore his spiral tusk with pride
And he spent his days
Cruising through the waves
Of the ice cold arctic tides.

Links and References

Guest Voices

n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

 

 

 

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:53 — 5.2MB)

Sandy Klaws

TBM-2312.18 – Yes, Marina There IS a Sandy Klaws

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Sandy Klaws

Description:

#audio. #parody #humor #essay #withapologiestoFrankChurch

Excerpt:

Yes, Marina, there is a Sandy Klaws. He exists as certainly as the tidepools, ocean currents and kelp forests exist, and you know that they abound to help sustain the lives of you and your family, as well as providing beauty and joy.

Links and References

Guest Voices

n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:25 — 4.7MB)

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

TBM-2312.16 – Mermaid Minute – Deck the Shoals

by

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

Description:

#audio. #mermaidminute #humor Me-Me del Mare talks about Sandy Claws’s relationship with dolphins

Excerpt:

Deck the shoals with strands of kelp
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Let the dolphin’s joy be felt
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Steep yourself in ocean lore
Fa la la la, la la la, la la la
While our mermaid voices soar
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Links and References

Guest Voices

n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:46 — 3.0MB)

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

TBM-2312.15 – Mermaid Minute – Do You See What I See?

by

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

 

Description:

#audio. #mermaidminute #humor Me-Me del Mare talks about all the light sea stars can see.

Excerpt:

Said the Big Wave to the tiny star.
“Do You see what I see?
On the ocean floor tiny star,
Do you see what I see?”

Links and References

Guest Voices

n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:15 — 2.4MB)

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

TBM-2312.14 – Mermaid Minute: Deep Blue Christmas

by

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

Description:

#audio. #mermaidminute #humor Me-Me del Mare talks about red, green, and blue

Excerpt:

I’ll have a blue Christmas without you
I’ll be so blue thinking about you
Decorations of black on a green seaweed tree
Won’t be the same, if you’re not here with me…

Links and References

Guest Voices

n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:56 — 3.1MB)

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

TBM-2312.13 – Mermaid Minute: Who Shall ReShell?

by

Advent_Mermaid_by_Nutty

Description:

#audio. #mermaidminute #humor Me-Me del Mare talks about Hermit Crabs

Excerpt:

Who shall reshell the the shellfish around us?
Who can shell them?
Beneath every wave a hermit is stealing
Someone’s cave

Links and References

Guest Voices

n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:48 — 3.0MB)

Tales from the Cauldron

TBM-2310.31 – Fur

by

Tales from the Cauldron

Description:

#audio #13NightsofHalloween #flashfic #dogs #petownership

Excerpt:

“What if it’s really a symbiotic life form, bent on taking over the planet?”

Links and References

  • Read the text of Fur

Guest Voices

  • n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:26 — 3.2MB)

Tales from the Cauldron

TBM-2310.30 – Whatever It Is That You Think You Remember

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... Think You Remember ...

Description:

#audio #13NightsofHalloween #flashfic #memorygames

Excerpt:

And you nod. Because you’re suddenly quite certain there’s a postcard of Liberty Hall on your fridge with Sam’s newest address.

Links and References

Guest Voices

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 6:02 — 5.1MB)

Tales from the Cauldron

TBM-2310.29 – Musings of a Solitary Ghost

by

Tales from the Cauldron

Description:

#audio #13NightsofHalloween #flashfic #ghosts

Excerpt:

But she can’t feel the heat, or stand in the shower, or work the taps. Her hands can’t grip, can’t touch.

Links and References

Guest Voices

  • n/a

Support:

The Bathtub Mermaid is now on Patreon! If you like the stories and essays I share, and want to have occasional visits from Me-Me del Mare, please consider subscribing.

Credits:

  • The Bathtub Mermaid: Tales from the Tub is written and produced by Melissa A. Bartell, and is recorded and produced using the Auphonic iPhone app and Audacity.
  • Bathtub Mermaid album art was created by Rebecca Moran of Moran Media
  • Sound Effects are from Freesound.

Contact:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:11 — 4.5MB)